Occupy Frank was unaware of the ancient Rainbow tradition against going to the Black Hills without the invitation of the Lakota, so he manipulated Vision Council into an unprecedented split decision that cleverly maneuvered the scouts into finding a site in the contested territory between the Lakota and the USFS, provoking a reaction that split the Gathering into two factions, hereafter referred to as NORF* and Big Dinosaur**, one of whom refused to go to the Black Hills while the other insisted that everyone should go. Meanwhile, AIM and possibly the Grandmothers of the Lakota began gearing up to do some sort of roadblock or blockade as the family slowly realized that we were taking sides in a sovereignty fight between the USG and the Lakota, and we were on the wrong side, as well as distracting attention from a desperate fight against a uranium mine. Splinter gatherings developed, including the Antiques Roadshow on Mount Shasta, which happened to be on a Modoc holy site, so now the Modoc are agitating for the same level of respect that we were supposed to be giving the Lakota, but didn’t. Meanwhile, the rest of us are just going to Turtle Soup in Michigan or over to Shawnee, in southern Illinois.

Tell me that doesn’t sound like I made that all up.

*National Occupy Rainbow Family
**My favorite conspiracy theory: There’s a lot of money to be made in the Black Hills by paleontologists, what with their fancy government grants and museums. So the people who are trying to keep the Rainbow Gathering from overrunning the Lakota are obviously being paid by the fossil industry. Not fossil fuels, fossils.